There has
been a constant companion in my life, who I didn’t like much. He’s cast shadows across my days since I was
a toddler. He’s not a person. He’s an expectation of behavior that changes
within cultures; a real moving target. He can be oppressive and stifle spirits, but
he can also offer safety and security.
“Just do as I say,” he entreats.
But when the person wielding him, doesn’t offer him in love, it becomes
oppressive. It’s the person or
institution who uses him that makes him either dangerous or helpful. He calls himself obedience and he’s a conundrum.
Obedience
has taken on many shapes and forms in my life.
As a child, I was supposed to obey my parents. This didn’t always happen. As an adult, I’m supposed to obey the
law. With the exception of a couple traffic
tickets, I’m a good citizen. As an adult
Christian, I’m supposed to follow the religious law; the Ten Commandments,
Great Commission, New Covenant law of loving God and loving your neighbor as yourself. Hmmm, honestly, I think I do a better job driving.
Everywhere I
look, it seems there is something I need to obey. Like a guardrail in my life, obedience has
sometimes kept me safe, but other times when I refused to stay on the mandated
road, I have done extensive body damage to my car. Obedience has mangled aspects of me. He has shut me down. He has made me into a people pleaser. And, after so many side-swipes and close
calls, he has succeeded in making me a rule follower. This unfortunately, elevates my own
self-regard, which is a very dangerous thing because I come very close to being
a Pharisee. See, I told you he was a conundrum.
He is
defined as; compliance with an order,
request, or law or submission to another's authority. Doesn’t sound much fun, does it? Doesn’t
even sound loving! The concordance in my
Bible has a column of Scriptures that feature him. When I look at the long list, that seem to
wag its finger at me, I get stiff with indignation. I feel cloaked in religion instead of covered
by Christ’s righteous.
Years ago, a
good friend believed God called their family to move out of state. She did NOT want to go, but surrendered to
what she and her husband believed was God’s call on their life. Before they moved, in one of our last small
group meetings, she sat uncharacteristically quiet. Just before she left she
used the “obedient” word and you might as well have given her last rites. It sounded like a torturous submission, like
she had no choice, like she was powerless.
I was horrified!
Once moved I
watched my friend struggle, but then eventually adapt. That was the beginning
of a more intimate portrait of obedience for me. After some time, I realized that ripping her
away from her community and family was tortuous, but she did have a choice, and
she was not powerless. She chose to love
The Lord who gave them the call to move, more than she loved her present
life. She was being obedient because she
could trust in someone greater than
herself. Her response wasn’t motivated
by religion, it was motivated by love.
In God’s
eyes, obligation or fear have no part in obedience – only love does. He sets boundaries for us because He knows
what’s best for us. In a sin-laden world
without guardrails, driving off cliffs is your alternative.
A long time
ago while preparing a MOPS talk on The
Five Love Languages, Jesus showed me that He had His own love language. I
guess we don’t always think about that, at least I hadn’t, but when He gave me
eyes to see this, it was a game changer:
John 14:15, “If you love me, you will obey what I
command.”
John 14: 21,
“Whoever has my commands and obeys them,
he is the one who loves me.”
John 14: 23, Jesus replied; “If anyone loves me, he will
obey my teaching.”
John 14:24, “He who does not love me will not obey my
teaching.”
After
repeating how we can love Him through obedience four times in ten verses, Jesus
shows us how He modeled this:
John 14: 31,
“but the world must learn that I love the
Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me.”
Love –>
Obedience…, yeah this was a conundrum to me for sure! So, what happens when something, that has
been part of your entire life, suddenly has new meaning? A concept that always felt heavy, suddenly
turned from oppressive to desirous. Yes,
desirous! I can’t even believe I typed
that word, but I really wanted to love Jesus in His love language.
In the beginning
how I felt when obeying, mattered less than the willingness of my heart to
submit to my trusted Savior. It wasn’t
long before Jesus moved me down the path to a new obedience challenge. I was obeying, but I was putting my people
pleasing self to work and became embroiled in the outcomes. Everything had to be perfect! This is where He told me to hold the outcomes loosely and leave them
up to Him. Oooh, this was tough to do,
but I worked at backing off and focusing more on my “process”. I can come up with a process for anything! I figured I’d handle that and
let Jesus handle the outcome…, yeah – nope!
At one point,
I felt the tug on my heart to connect women mentors with younger women. I didn’t even know where to begin. The logistics were mind-boggling. I felt a clear message to just assemble the
mentors, without a plan! I rarely do
anything without a plan! But, God gave
me the sense that the process would come out of the collective group and not
just from me. I started with a couple
mentor/mentee pairs and let them know that there wasn’t a formal plan. They worked out their own logistics and
everything went well. God had it. He just asked me to make the connections.
Letting go of the process as well as the
outcome was a huge step
in obedience and self-discipline. The biggest
surprise in all of this was that by doing so, I experienced freedom! It’s difficult to explain, but when God calls
me to do something, He’s only asking me for my small part. He ensures me that He’s got the rest.
I’ve
recently returned from a speaker and writer’s conference called She Speaks. There was plenty of networking opportunities
and every table I sat at had women who said they didn’t know why they were
there, they were just being obedient to Jesus’ call. It was the majority of the women I
encountered, and I was bowled over by the commitment they made to see what God
wanted them to do with their precious stories of Him. It was truly remarkable. They were free from expectations and free
from performance pressures, which freed them up to learn and fully experience
the conference.
Stepping
into obedience, without fixating on the outcome, or how it’s going to happen,
ushers you into a spiritual freedom like nothing else. This type of obedience is motored by love
that originates from a close relationship with Christ. Remember when I said it depends on who is
wielding obedience? Christ is the
perfect example of who we can always depend on to transform our obedience into
freedom. This is not a conundrum at
all. It’s God’s plan, demonstrated most
visibly by His Son obeying, to the point of death on a Cross, so that we can
experience that freedom! So, I encourage you to love Jesus in His love language
and receive that special gift of freedom He has for you.
PONDER
What do you think
about obedience? What/who impacts your
perception of him? Is he a friend, or foe?
What drives your obedience, fear/obligation or love?
On a scale of 1 – 10
how well do you:
- Let go of the outcome?
- Let go of the process?
- Let God drive things?
WITNESS
Who demonstrates loving
obedience best in your life? Where do
you see fearful obedience? What do you think about Jesus obeying, in light of the
discovery that there’s freedom in obedience?
ACTION
Try this formula when
you believe God is calling you to be obedient:
1) Listen to God.
2) Pray.
3) Confirm with another believer that it’s God’s will.
4) If so, then step out in faith.
5) Do your part.
6) Watch God move.
7) REPEAT often.
