“Get out!
Get out!” The words ripped through my throat as I stood paralyzed, thigh high
deep in the ocean. I screamed over the
roar of the waves and the din of vacationers to my, then, 10-year-old son,
floating on his boogie board.
Unbeknownst to him, a few yards deeper, a dark fin was steadily slicing
through the water. My mouth and my arms
were the only things that could move. As
I frantically called and waved him in, I was astounded at how the panic had
gripped my legs and stopped me from rushing to his rescue. I just kept
thinking, “I’m his mother, I need to grab him and bring him in.”, which then
activated the mom-guilt that sniped, “What kind of mother are you?” Never before had fear ever seized me like
that! Never before had I ever felt so
small and impotent. Fortunately, my son paddled in to safety and whatever it
was that was behind him disappeared.
Admittedly,
I am a first generation JAWS
movie-goer, which might explain most of this. Typically though, I’m not afraid
of much. I’m an adventurer and even though I freak out when it comes to sharks, I do love to adventure in the ocean. I've enjoyed snorkeling, scuba diving and even snuba-ing. In
fact, the beach is where I often meet God. It’s where I’m whisked out of the harried and enveloped in the holy.
The sights and sounds are stunning, and there is truly such splendor to behold.
I love swimming in it, sitting by it,
cruising on it, and eating things that come out of it.
As much as I love the ocean, you have already seen how much of a big Fraidy Cat I can be of it. While there are aspects of it that I love, the sheer immensity and the assortment of dangerous life within it can frighten me. (For the record, any fish that isn’t a pretty color fits into that category!) It is a magnificent entity that I will never fully understand. Even safe at home on my couch, I have been spellbound by fear as I watched a Discovery program that revealed alien shaped creatures of the sea, that lit up like neon signs, in a place so deep that no light could penetrate. Fascinating, yes, but also terrifying, and it doesn’t stop there. The ocean, when dredged up by storms, can wipe out entire cities, mangle nature and remind of us our mortality real quick. Without a doubt, if you’re wise, the ocean is a force to be respected and held in awe.
So, as I
recently sat at the beach, thinking about the beach, and the Maker of the
beach, I remembered when I learned about the paradox of loving and fearing something at the same time. It was years ago, while studying the fear of God, that I grappled with this paradox as it relates to God. It brought up questions like:
·
“How
could I fear someone I love?”
·
“Why
would I fear a God of grace and mercy?”
·
“Doesn’t God so love the world…?”
I just could not understand how I was
supposed to fear Him when I loved Him so much. It
was then that The Lord reminded me of the splendorous terror of the ocean, and
its paralyzing grip on me.
I love and
fear The Lord much the same way in which I love and fear the ocean. I understand my limitedness in light of His
immenseness. I respect His power and
know that it will take more than a Discovery
program to know Him better. I learned
that there is
healthy fear that resembles gripping awe and reverence. A fear
that requires me to acknowledge that I am NOT
God and in the grand scheme of things I am small and impotent,
and I’m okay with that!
Isaiah
chapter 2 (ESV) vividly depicts God’s splendor and terror toward His people when they turned away from Him. It is easy for me to understand this splendorous terror when I think of His wrath, but the truth is that it also applies to His love. This, in all honesty, is harder for me to understand. These
are hard words to couple together in the context of love. Splendor… terror…
love…, nope, it just didn’t compute.
Then God reminded me of the lyrics to the song, How He Loves Us, by David Crowder, that gives such dramatic images
of a splendorous, terrifying love:
Loves like a hurricane, I am
a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
If grace is an ocean we’re all sinking.
These are
powerful pictures that combine the splendor and the terror of God’s magnanimous
love. Just imagine yourself bending like a young tree, stretched and pulled by the force of God's love. Overwhelming for sure, but the
truth! I love and fear The Lord and when
I think about what that’s supposed to look like in my life, another ocean experience comes
to mind.
Our family
was on a whale watching excursion, in a medium sized boat, (note size of boat!)
when a Humpback whale breached the water’s surface. It catapulted itself straight up out of the
water, looking like some resurrected, barnacled, sunken ship. It was so close,
and so big! I was videotaping it and was so gripped by fear, that I lost my
legs. I can’t describe it any other way,
they just went limp, right from under me, and I collapsed!
It’s this
breathless picture of God’s equally devastating love and mercy, and His justice
and wrath, that I long to maintain in my heart and head. I want to stand in an overwhelming love and have it mangle the lies I
believe, have it bend me beneath the weight of His mercy, and sink in a
grace that takes me to the wondrous depths of a God who I will never be able to
fully understand. Splendor and terror, just
like the ocean. That’s the God I want to
behold daily. That’s the God I want
to be undone by hourly. That’s the God I
want to be gripped by minute by minute.
A shocking love, a love that I am so overcome by that I lose my legs. A rip-tide that pulls me closer to my
magnificent Maker in devout delight, fringed with awe, over both His splendor
and terror, as wide and deep as the ocean itself.
So, as I sit
on the beach with my feet buried in the sand, eyes gazing upon many wonders
like rainbows, pelicans and sandcastles,
I gratefully embrace the splendor and terror of the Lord. I open myself to His devastating love and
fearsome immensity. I am His child;
in awe of Him and adored by Him. So,
this summer, if you find yourself sitting on the beach, you too can be breathless with
wonder and comforted by His love. All
you have to do is open yourself up to a splendorous terror you aren’t required
to understand, but are invited to step into.
Just like the ocean.
PONDER
In what ways
do you love and fear God that are either compatible with or contrary to the
picture of the ocean? When understanding
that healthy fear resembles gripping awe and reverence, what new insights about
fearing God have you gained through the analogy of the ocean? How can these insights draw you closer to
Jesus?
WITNESS
In what ways
do your beliefs about loving and fearing God take shape in your prayers? Do you inadvertently separate the God-head (Father,
Son and Holy Spirit) when you praise Him or when you’re afraid of Him? For example, do you pray to Jesus in love,
but approach God with a different reverence?
ACTION
Make a list
of how you experience God's love. Do any of them fall into the awe and reverence category? Do you carry a healthy fear in your heart for Him? Pray with awe and in thanksgiving for God's splendorous love and then allow yourself to receive it.
SCRIPTURE
Behold, the
eye of the Lord is on those who fear him,
on those who hope in his steadfast love,
on those who hope in his steadfast love,
Psalm
145:18-20
The Lord is near
to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.
20 The Lord preserves all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.
to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.
20 The Lord preserves all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.
Psalm
103:8-13
The Lord is merciful
and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
13 As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
13 As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
Psalm
111:10
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
all those who practice it have a good understanding.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
all those who practice it have a good understanding.
Psalm 147:11
The Lord's delight is in those who fear him,
those who put their hope in his unfailing love.
Proverbs 9:10
The fear of
the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
Proverbs
19:23
Fear-of-God is
life itself,
a full life, and serene—no nasty surprises.
a full life, and serene—no nasty surprises.
Ephesians
3:17-19
And I pray
that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may
have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide
and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and
to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the
measure of all the fullness of God.
As a
certified Christian Life Coach, I can help you move from where you are to where
God wants you to be. If you are interested in gaining more understanding
about healthy fear, then let’s chat. I’d love to be your champion in what God
is calling you to do!
#Karynisms #EQCoachKaryn
#CoachKaryn #EQandJesus #Godslove #fearingGod #witnessandponder #thebeach
#healthyfear #HowHeLovesUs
